is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
