New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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