Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
