Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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