I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The air was thick with penises
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
