I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
