someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
