I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
