Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize