You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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