HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
