i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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