The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
