I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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