So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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