worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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