You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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