well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
