I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
