i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
