I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
