I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize