When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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