Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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