We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
