is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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