sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
