I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
