I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
