i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
