i wish peter jackson would direct porn
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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