like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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