I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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