She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
