Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
