just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
