How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
