I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
