I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
