Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
