the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
