i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize