I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
