i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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