Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
