What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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