Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
