playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize