Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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