O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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