I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
