so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
