i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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