dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
