i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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