Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
