I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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