oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
