She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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