I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
