everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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