Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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