she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
