Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
